Brain vs. Heart

Car ride home
beats per minute: 85

He says, "I feel like I'm smothering you"

brain: Tell him the truth. You've waited too long anyway.
heart: You still really care about him. This is a lot harder than you thought it would be.

b:1 h:0

She says, "I don't want to be in a relationship"

b: Good. Tell the truth. It's better that way.
h: The words hurt too much. Can you take them back? You hate when he's sad anyway. Maybe we can still work this out? 

b:2 h:0

Pull into the driveway. Park the car.
bpm: 78

h: The way he talks about you makes me hurt. I'm burning. 
b: I don't know what to say. I mean, I could start with the way he's always trying to make other people happy or how he always knows when something's wron- 
h: OH NO HERE COME THE TEARS.
b: MAYDAY MAYDAY ALL TEAR DUCT THRUSTERS OFF. I REPEAT, OFF. 

b:2 h:1

The tears come anyway. And now she's stuffed her head in his jacket.
bpm: 80

b: Your tears are making rivers in his jacket. I hope he washes it even though I know he will. I hope your tear stains come out. 
h: Why does he talk about me like that when I can't say it back? All I want is for him to be happy but I can't give it to him. I'm sorry it's so painful. I've been down this road and I know how much it hurts. It's worse than hell. 
b: Huh. Now he's talking about the good times. He'd better not leave you for good. That last guy was a bastard. 
h: Memories? I still really need you. and shut up brain, you know he cares about her way more than the idiot that left her ever did. 

b:2 h:2

He leaves. She's alone in her car.
bpm: 60

b: I am numb.
h: I can't just expect you to turn around and comfort me when I need to be comforting you but you did anyway.
b: 
h: I hope you know this hurts me too. 
b: I hope you can't hear me crying. 

b:3 h:2

She stops on the way home to catch her breath at the park.
bpm: 57

The windows streak like the tracks of tears stained on her face. 101.9 whispers Stolen Dance for the one millionth time since 2013. His sticky notes are still in her cup holder and there's a chocolate kiss melted to the carpet in the back.

h: Does he know I care? 
b: Calm down. You need to stop crying. What if mom sees her face? She'll ask questions. 
h: I don't care. Honestly this kills.
b: Be strong for two seconds. Pull yourself together. 
h: He even thought to turn the seat warmer off before he left. 

b:3 h:3

She drives home. Mom confronts her at door.
bpm: 75

"How was the game?"
"Good"

h: Too short of an answer. She knows.
b: Who cares if she knows. My face is red anyway.

"Are you okay?"

b: TRUTH. Please. You're late for curfew for a reason. 
h: She won't understand. 

"I'm so sorry"

b: What can you do...
h: He says that.
b: I know.

As she hit the sixteenth stair, Niagara Falls did too.

b:3 h:4 




Thanks to Steven O. Jordan for this idea. Want to see the work that inspired mine?
Click here